


I Miss You, But I Will Let You Be Happy

by AngstyBunBun



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstyBunBun/pseuds/AngstyBunBun
Summary: Yuchan loved Byeongkwan for as long as he can remember, but he felt he has long lost Byeongkwan to Sehyoon. basically ever since they first met the other memebers of A.C.E. Now All he need to do was stop being in love with his friend, but he couldn't.
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan & Kim Byeongkwan, Lee Donghun/Park Junhee | Jun
Kudos: 10





	I Miss You, But I Will Let You Be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Dyslexic sorry for errors

Yuchan first met Byeongkwan when he was 15, they almost instantly became friends. Byeongkwan was cute at first, with his full lips and chubby cheeks and Yuchan was enamoured by him. When they got closer to debut Byeongkwan had started to lose the weight in his face and while Yuchan stayed babyfaced. Byeongkwan would complain about how Yuchan shot up like a weed to be taller than him. Yuchan did become the baby of the group, not only as the youngest but in the sense of everyone spoiled him rotten. Yuchan wasn’t a baby though, he hated very much that Byeongkwan views him as one. Yuchan’s other main issue in A.C.E was one Kim Sehyoon. He didn’t dislike Sehyoon, he loved how weird and different he was and watching him do art but Byeongkwan was always hanging off him or going off to cuddle with him. Yuchan was jealous, and hurt. He couldn’t show it though, he was the ray of sunshine in the group he had to be to be happy. He did take to clinging to Donghun to try to make Byeongkwan jealous. It never seemed to work, ever since he met Sehyoon Byeongkwan seemed to forget about Yuchan. 

It was only a couple months after debut that Yuchan realized he was just the odd one out. He had woken up from a nightmare and gone to get a drink he was about to round the corner when he heard hushed angry voices. Yuchan ducked down and pressed himself against a wall not wanting to be seen but still hoping he could get water.

“Junnie, please you’re overreacting… Listen” Donghun sighed, he sounded tired but also worried.

“Overreacting?! You ditched our date because Yuchannie needed something! Again!”

“You are the one who wanted to keep this a secret! I wanted to tell the others when we debuted!” Donghun sounded frustrated but he took a breath and the floor creaked as he stepped forward “Look Junnie, I am sorry… I just don’t know what I am supposed to say when the kids start pressing me on why I can’t do whatever with them. I just think it would be easier if we could tell them we are dating”

“No! We can’t just tell them that! Are you out of your mind?! What if they think we are weird or-” Donghun sighed then Junhee made a muffled shocked sound. Yuchan peaked around the corner to see Donghun kissing him and holding him by the waist. Junhee hit his chest a couple times before he relaxed leaning more into the kiss, sliding his hands up Donghun’s chest and over his shoulders then tangled his fingers in Donghun’s hair. Donghun pulled back just far enough to rest their foreheads together. “You can’t keep kissing me to make me calm down”

“Mmm no I can’t but I only did it because I didn’t want you to get too loud. I don’t think they would think that about us. Still if you don’t want to tell anyone we won’t I just hate hiding how happy you make me” Donghun pressed a kiss to Junhee’s forehead. Yuchan went back to his room quietly and face planted in bed. He hated that in his plan to get Byeongkwan to pay attention to him again he had ended up causing problems in a relationship between two people he loved and admired, even if it was unknowingly. Besides it wasn’t like his idea to make Byeongkwan jealous wasn’t working. Yuchan sighed and hugged a pulsh to his chest, he wondered if Byeongkwan and Sehyoon were also secretly dating. The thought made it feel like someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart. Yuchan buried his face into the plush feeling the tears pricking in his eyes. He couldn’t be mad at Byeongkwan or Sehyoon, it's not like he was even out to date Byeongkwan the only people who knew he was gay were his parents. 

Donghun did somehow convince Junhee to tell the group a week later. Yuchan already knew obviously but they didn’t know that. So Yuchan was able to notice the small things, like how Junhee’s hands were shaking when everyone sat down and how Donghun held his hand and gently rubbed his thumb over his knuckles to calm him down. Junhee told the group they had been dating 2015, they were very happy together and they wanted the members to know. Byeongkwan was excited to hear this and went on a tangent of questions all while squeezing Sehyoon’s arm. Yuchan tried to focus on the questions while ignoring the pain in his chest. 

Who confessed first? -Donghun

What did he say exactly? -I love you and if you feel the same I want to date you.

How did Junhee react? -Panicked, threw his bag at Donghun’s face, ran into a wall. Then awkwardly admitted his own crush while Donghun held towels to Junhee’s nose since he’d given himself a bloody nose. 

Who kissed who first? -Junhee kissed Donghun. They basically confessed then had to be apart for three days. Junhee had asked Donghun to meet him in their little secret hideout and Junhee had pulled Donghun in for a kiss. 

Did they ever fight or have temporary breakups? -Fights, yes. Breakups, no. 

What was the worst fight? -Junhee doesn’t always notice when guys are hitting on him and is generally just very friendly. Donghun used to have a really bad jealous streak because he was kind of insecure in the relationship because he felt Junhee was out of his league. He yelled at Junhee over it and Junhee got mad Donghun didn’t trust him. They made up after a day because Donghun cried and begged for forgiveness.

Do you kiss in the dorms? -Yes

When? -After everyone is asleep or out of the dorm. 

Was Junhee lying when he said he gets in Donghun’s bed because of nightmares? -Not always, but sometimes. 

Have you slept together? -That’s none of your business.

Yuchan chuckled lightly at how red Junhee got on the last question. Then Donghun asked if everyone was comfortable with their relationship, he was worried that they might be uncomfortable since they were gay. Yuchan muttered something about not being a hypocrite, he didn’t mean to say it out loud and froze a little when everyone looked at him. Byeongkwan prodded him for more information and Yuchan admitted he was also gay. Byeongkwan stood up and walked away saying he was going to get his bags for practice. Yuchan stood, Donghun asked if he was okay and he nodded. Byeongkwan came into Yuchan’s room while the youngest was packing some stuff for practice. 

“Yuchan, how come you never told me?” Byeongkwan leaned on the doorframe. 

“I… I haven’t told anyone before…” Yuchan mumbled, zipping his bag shut and putting one strap over his shoulder. “Other than my parents...my brothers don’t even know” Yuchan began twisting the strap of his backpack in his hands. Byeongkwan’s face softened and he went over and pulled Yuchan into a hug. Byeongkwan patted Yuchan’s head gently. 

“I’m sorry, Channie. It’s okay, if anyone is mean to you let hyung know and I will have Donghun hyung beat them up” Byeongkwan pulled back and squished Yuchan cheeks in his hands “No give me a smile you are way too cute to look so sad” 

“Yes sir hyungie” Yuchan forced himself to smile. Byeongkwan smiled and then gestured that they should leave and walked away. Yuchan grabbed his phone off the bed and went after him. Of course when Yuchan got out to the rest Byeongkwan was already clinging to Sehyoon. Yuchan sighed, he’d known better to get his hopes up from their small interaction. Donghun led them to the car so he could drive them to the practice room. Junhee was running through what they had to do that day after practice. Yuchan tried to listen but his mind kept wandering to Byeongkwan. Would he have still been fine if he knew Yuchan liked him or would he have freaked out? Was he dating Sehyoon and just didn’t say anything so the focus would stay on Donghun and Junhee?

Yuchan hated this, but he had to be fine. He had to because it was his most guarded secret that he likes Byeongkwan. He had to be the happy-go-lucky kid the group and fans loved so much. The fans were another issue for his pain, well their ships were. Junkwan and Dongkwan, he didn’t mind because he knew how in love Donghun and Junhee were. The issue was Wowkwan, it hurt him so much. Still as much as it hurt, Yuchan often found himself watching compilation videos of ‘couple moments’ and reading some of the stuff he found online. It made sense they would be dating when people pointed out small moments they had. Honestly what hurt more than the dating was seeing people call them ‘best friends’ because Byeongkwan was supposed to at least still be his best friend not Sehyoon’s best friend. Yuchan hated feeling so jealous, so he came up with a foolproof plan. Talk to Donghun but act like it wasn’t about him. So Yuchan waited for a time when, a) Byeongkwan wasn’t home, b) Junhee was busy, c) Sehyoon was sleeping. Then he went to Donghun and sat before tugging on his arm to get attention, working the baby angle to the best of his abilities. 

“Hyungie~” 

“Mm?”

“A friend just messaged me and asked for advice and I don’t know what to tell them…”

“And what does your friend need advice on?” 

“So they have a best friend, but recently he has started to like… ignore him for someone he met recently and they are really hurt by it. They don't want to come across like they are saying they’re best friend can’t have other friends but they still want attention and say they just feel very left out and abandoned and-”

“Channie if you want to spend time with Kwannie just ask him. He will not be upset,” Donghun chuckled, shaking his head. Yuchan’s face turned bright red.

“This isn’t about-”

“And you should tell him you like him, don’t panic. No one knows about your crush, I just noticed the way you look at him. I used to look at Junhee the same way before we started dating.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yuchan stood up, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. “I’ll tell my friend what you said.” Donghun only sighed as Yuchan left the room.

Three days passed before Yuchan finally texted Byeongkwan asking if they could hang out since they had time off and hadn’t been hanging out as much lately. Then he waited...and waited...and waited. Six hours later he still hadn’t got an answer, he had spent all day in his room and now he didn’t want to do anything. So he curled up in bed pulling blankets over his head and tried to sleep. He didn’t get much, maybe an hour, before he woke up with his stomach growling. Yuchan cheeked his phone and still didn’t have a response from Beyongkwan, he didn’t expect much anymore. He accepted that he had lost Byeongkwan, so he left his phone in his room and went to the kitchen and made himself instant noodles. Part of him hoped Byeongkwan had spent the day with his family or had gone there to pass out for the day. When he was halfway done with eating when he heard the door open and Byeongkwan’s voice. He started to get up to go to Byeongkwan when he heard Sehyoon’s soft laughter. Yuchan froze then looked at his food, he quickly finished eating before the other two even got to him. 

“Hi Channie! Did you have a good day?” Sheyoon smiled going over to him. Yuchan nodded while cleaning up. 

“What did you get up too?” Byeongkwan smiled 

“Just had a lazy day…” _I spent all day waiting for you because I’m just an idiot who can’t stop being in love even though you don't care about me any more._

“Lazy days are great!” Byeongkwan nodded “Sehni hyung and I went shopping.”

“That’s nice, I’m gonna head back to lay in bed. I just got hungry” Yuchan smiled as he went to wash his dishes. Byeongkwan smiled nodding and went off with Sehyoon, Yuchan finished cleaning and went back into his bed. He sat in bed and looked at the message he’d sent, he decided that was his last effort to save his friendship. Yuchan couldn’t make his heart let go but he could at least stop hoping things would be like they had been. Yuchan grabbed his favorite plush and laid down burying himself under blankets. He had just started to fall asleep when his door opened.

“Yuchannie?” Byeongkwan’s voice called as he walked inside the room. Yuchan kept his eyes closed and didn’t move. “Ah you’re asleep already, you always sleep so quickly” Byeongkwan chuckled and Yuchan felt the bed dip as Byeongkwan sat on it. Byeongkwan ran his fingers through Yuchan’s hair gently “Sorry Channie, I didn’t see your text… ah what am I doing you can’t hear me…” Byeongkwan leaned down and pressed a kiss to Yuchan’s head. “Sleep well” Byeongkwan then walked out of the room carefully shutting the door. Yuchan waited for a couple minutes before he rolled onto his back and sighed.

“Well so much for getting over him” Yuchan muttered to his plush. “Why does he have to make it so hard?”

  
  


When Yuchan’s 20th birthday came around on New Years Eve the did a live stream, where the members decided Byeongkwan and Junhee would kiss either of Yuchan’s cheeks. After the stream they decided that should be a tradition, Yuchan was flustered by that but hid it from them. Then they were preparing for their New Years Party in the dorm, while Yuchan was helping in the kitchen Junhee joked that Yuchan should also get a New Years Kiss. Yuchan didn’t have time to say anything before Donghun suggested Byeongkwan give him a kiss at midnight, and Byeongkwan agreed. It was only noon and Yuchan’s heart started racing and kept doing that anytime Byeongkwan looked at him. They all took a nap until an hour before midnight then they all met to eat and start drinking. 

Yuchan felt his nerves building as it got closer to midnight, he wasn’t sure if it had been a joke or not but the idea of actually having Byeongkwan kiss him made him nervous. In the last minutes of the year Donghun pulled Junhee into his arms pressing kisses all over his face, except his lips. Yuchan looked at Byeongkwan who was still chatting with Sehyoon and drinking. 5...4...3...2..1, Donghun pulled Junhee into a kiss and Byeongkwan laughed and kissed Sehyoon. Yuchan felt his heart stop as he watched Byeongkwan hold Sehyoon’s face kissing him softly. Yuchan went off to his room unnoticed by the other members, he sat in his bed feeling the tears slipping down his cheeks and quickly scrubbed at his cheeks. It was stupid to be upset, he was fully aware that he had lost Byeongkwan to Sehyoon but he still let himself get his hopes up. Yuchan laid down and sighed, no one came to check on him before he passed out. 

The next day Yuchan had to do his best to keep himself upbeat, Byeongkwan didn’t say anything and honestly didn’t even look at him all day. Yuchan did his best to hide how hurt he was, however Donghun pulled him aside after practice that day to ask about the night before, apparently he had seen Byeongkwan kiss Sehyoon and that Yuchan wasn’t there but he didn’t want to draw attention. Yuchan tried to keep himself from crying but he couldn’t, Donghun pulled him into his chest holding him close to keep his face hidden. Donghun motioned to Junhee to get everyone else out of the room so he could talk to Yuchan. Junhee asked the other two to get food with him, having to practically drag Byeongkwan out when he didn’t want to go since ‘two people should be enough’. Once they were gone Donghun leaned back and cupped Yuchan’s cheeks gently wiping the tears away with his thumbs. 

“Channie…”

“I don’t care if he doesn’t like me back… I just… I miss him and that’s so stupid since we are in the same group but he’s always with Sehyoon and never spends time with me anymore outside of schedules.” 

“Chan-ah listen, you have to be honest. Even if you get rejected it can help you move on, you can’t keep bottling all this up inside.”

“Yes I can. Today is a fluke. I-”

“Kang Yuchan. No you cannot.” 

“If I tell him and he rejects me it will make our friendship fall apart even more. I already lost my best friend...don’t make me lose anything else…” Yuchan looked at him, Donghun’s heartbreak for the youngest but he just nodded and sighed slightly.

“What are we going to tell the others when you get back for why you are crying?”

“Homesick” Yuchan cuddled into Donghun who nodded, pressing a kiss to the youngest’s head. The door opened not long after the other three laughing as they came in, Yuchan was still crying his face pressed into Donghun. He heard a thump of a bag being dropped and someone running over.

“Channie!” Byeongkwan pulled him away from Donghun holding him proctectively “What did you do to him?! Why is he crying?!” 

“He was just feeling homesick, I didn’t do anything. Also I am your hyung.”

“That doesn’t mean anything when you made Channie cry”

“Hyung stop, it’s fine” Yuchan mumbled, Byeongkwan held his face in his hands looking at him.

“Let’s go to Jeju on our next day off okay? I’ll pay for us to go.” 

“You don’t have to do-”

“I want to, don’t worry about it” 

“Okay…” Yuchan pulled his face away to rub at his eyes.

“Alright, let’s all eat” Junhee called and to Yuchan’s shock Byeongkwan sat next to him and across from Sehyoon. Byeongkwan’s leg pressed against his own was oddly comforting. Yuchan ate while quietly enjoying that he finally had Byeongkwan’s attention back. 

  
  


It was three months before Byeongkwan and Yuchan were able to fly out to Jeju, Donghun had dropped them off at the airport and pulled Yuchan into a hug with a gentle whisper that he should tell Byeongkwan how he felt while they were there. Yuchan just grabbed his bags while Byeongkwan also hugged Donghun, then the pair went inside. Byeongkwan had paid for everything and refused to let Yuchan pay anything back, Byeongkwan had also planned a bunch of fun stuff for them to do since it was spring and the weather was supposed to be nice the whole time they were there. Their trip was 5 days the 10th of April to the 15th, they would leave at noon on the 15th so they had time to get home and have dinner before they had to get to sleep for the schedules starting back up. 

Byeongkwan’s first stop the first day they arrived after dropping their bags at Yuchan’s families home, his parents were still at work. Byeongkwan took Yuchan to the Jeju Canola Flower Festival. Yuchan had been to the flower show alot, but he didn’t mind, he loved the canola flowers and being with Byeongkwan. Byeongkwan brushed their hands together while they were walking, Yuchan didn’t give it much attention then Byeongkwan intertwined their fingers. Yuchan glanced at him but had to scold his heart for jumping into his throat at that. They were there for about an hour before they went to get street food from a vendor. Yuchan pulled Byeongkwan to a spot where they could sit for a little bit. 

“This is a really good idea for a date, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, a lot of people do it. Why?”

“I was just asking” 

“Oh alright. There’s also busking here we could go watch, see what the others are doing!” 

“Yeah that would be nice” Byeongkwan stood and pulled Yuchan up with him gesturing for him to lead the way. Yuchan took him to the first buskers they found and they stood watching carefully. Byeongkwan would whisper comments into Yuchan’s ear, about the groups dancing and spacing and how they recovered from mess ups. Yuchan nodded in agreement and then they went to find a singer to watch. This time Byeongkwan wrapped his arm around Yuchan’s waist while he listened to Yuchan compliment the singer's abilities. 

They headed back to Yuchan’s family home shortly after where Yuchan was pulled into a hug by his mother. Yuchan smiled into her shoulder pressing himself closer, as always seeking comfort in his mother when he is upset. His dad invited Byeongkwan to come in, his mom went to cook and Yuchan followed her to help, Byeongkwan came too leaving Yuchan’s dad to do some light cleaning. They ate together talking mostly about how the group was doing, Yuchan was more than happy to tell him all about every member, Byeongkwan just watched him with a small smile. Yuchan showed them pictures and videos of the members, his parents would just smile and coo as Yuchan excitedly talked. Byeongkwan watched Yuchan with his parents happy that he could bring Yuchan home even if just for a few days. The next day while Yuchan’s parents worked Byeongkwan took Yuchan to Sutmoreu Cypress Forest Trail. They went on the 3 hour hike together. Byeongkwan again asked if this was a good date idea and this time Yuchan stopped and thought for a minute. He came to the conclusion this was all a guise to figure out good date ideas with him so he can later come back with Sehyoon. Yuchan felt the pain return to his chest as he simply nodded with a smile and continued walking. The next two days were similar, Byeongkwan took Yuchan to places that were very popular date places. Restaurants, the beach and everything, Yuchan hated it internally but he acted like he was fine, he acted like he didn’t know he was being used for this. Then the day before they left, on April 14th, Byeongkwan suggested that they go get jjajangmyun. Yuchan agreed, albeit confused, because it was Black Day and only single people ate jjajangmyun and were sad and depressed about being single. Byeongkwan sent a message to someone, probably Sehyoon, as soon as they sat down. Yuchan ordered for them and looked around idly when he heard soft chuckling. Yuchan looked to Byeongkwan to see him still on his phone, chuckling softly. 

Yuchan thought Byeongkwan must be making fun of him, he must have realized Yuchan’s feelings for him and, with Sehyoon’s help, decided to take Yuchan out for jjajangmyun on Black Day to make fun of him. Yuchan clenched his hands on his pants, it was all a big joke. His feelings, his friendship, everything was just a joke to Byeongkwan. Something to be used with Sehyoon to show off how stupid the youngest was. Their food came and they ate, Yuchan didn’t talk much. Why bother when it was all just going to be used to make fun of him? Byeongkwan was talking but it was muffled, his heart was pounding way too loudly in his chest, blood rushing in his ears. Then Byeongkwan was looking at him with concern and worry evident on his face as he reached for Yuchan’s hand. Yuchan pulled his hand away, he didn’t want pity from the person who he trusted so much that was betraying him. Yuchan didn’t say a word as he got up and went to pay, he knew it was playing right into the joke as he paid for both but he didn’t care he wanted out. Yuchan left the restaurant and started walking, they weren’t far from his home, Yuchan had walked these roads a million times. Still the tears that ran down his cheeks made the walk a little harder. He didn’t get far before he was caught by Byeongkwan. Yuchan tried to pull away but Byeongkwan had a tight grip.

“Chan! What’s going on? You just left without saying anything…”

“Stop acting like you care.” Yuchan muttered, Byeongkwan looked hurt but didn’t let go.

“Yuchan I do care, I-”

“You only care if this will affect your image…I won’t say anything. I get it. You found someone more important and I am just an annoying kid who is clinging to you. I will stop but this-'' Yuchan stopped and finally pulled out of his grip while Byeongkwan just stared at him, “This is too far, Byeongkwan. I never thought you would just make fun of me like this… I get the point though. You and Sehyoon don’t have to make fun of me anymore…” Yuchan rubbed the tears from his eyes. 

“What? Sehyoon? Channie I-”

“I’ll get over my stupid feelings, you could have just said you weren’t interested. Was bringing home and taking me to all these places just to laugh at me necessary?! I thought we were at least friends still. How long have you been planning this? Since my birthday? You heard Junhee and Donghun talking about kissing me and thought it would be so funny to break my heart by kissing Sehyoon after saying it would be me you would kiss. But that wasn’t enough was it? You saw me crying about it to Donghun and thought, why not hurt him more.”

“Yuchan-”

“And I gave you the perfect gift saying I was only crying because I was homesick. You and Sehyoon probably had a grand old time planning how to hurt me. Thinking about the places you could bring me, how you could just toy with me… Was this worth it to you Byeongkwan? What started it? Have you always known about my feelings? Or did Sehyoon figure it out and tell you? I am really fucking curious on what your thoughts were as you decided to hurt me? Or maybe everyone knows...the whole fucking group maybe that’s why Donghun and Junhee said that...so you could hurt me like this. I mean why not everyone I ever loved and cared for betrayed me…” Yuchan clenched his fist as more tears fell. 

“No, Yuchan please…”

“It makes sense...Donghun said he could tell.... So maybe he told you- then you all planned this… Why? What did I do to deserve this? Why did you have to hurt me so much? I just...I just had a stupid crush- all you had to do was say no, tell me you had someone else, that you didn’t feel the same. Why did you have to hurt me like this?” 

“I didn’t...Channie please you don’t understand.” Byeongkwan reached for his hand again “I just want-”

“Don’t touch me!” Yuchan jerked away from him.

“Yuchan, please. I love you! I did all this because I love you!” Byeongkwan grabbed the front of Yuchan’s jacket “You have it all wrong! I never- _never_ wanted to hurt you. I didn’t know if you even liked me, I went to Sehyoon because I told him my feelings. I told him that I loved you and he was my comfort, I never had the...courage…to tell you. I was never doing this to make fun of you...Yuchan this was all me trying to show you, I was taking you on dates. I…” Byeongkwan looked at the tear soaked face of the boy he loved, he reached up and gently wiped the tears away. “I was texting Sehyoon, I won’t ever lie but I was texting him because I thought this was going well. I took us for jjajangmyun because we are both still single. I was hoping you would get the hints I have been dropping. I was trying to hint that I was wishing you would be who I was dating. Single people go out and eat jjajangmyun and wish they had a love interest. I want-”

“Stop lying to me! Stop it! Why do you keep lying to me? Why do you want to hurt me so much!” 

“I will show you the text! Please Yuchannie...please I would never ever want to hurt you…”

“How can I believe you when all you’ve done is hurt me!” Yuchan was mad but he so desperately wanted to have it be true, he wanted to believe Byeongkwan wouldn’t hurt him like this. Byeongkwan dug in his pocket and pulled out his phone, handing it to Yuchan and asking him to read it. Yuchan looked at the text with a sigh. 

King Wow

Okay I think it’s going well but we are going to get jjajangmyun

What should I do though?

I don’t know if he gets it.

So just tell him Kwannie, why is that hard?

I am pretty sure he likes you

Even if he doesn’t he won’t be mad

I will tell him after we eat

He’s just so cute when he smiles.

God I want to kiss him

Why have you waited this long?

Confess and kiss him.

I have to go, he just ran out.

Yuchan stared at the messages and looked up at Byeongkwan his heart pounding. Byeongkwan didn’t say anything he just watched as Yuchan reread the messages. Even if he couldn’t ever date Yuchan, he needed him to know it wasn’t all a joke. Yuchan looked to Byeongkwan who had his eyes downcast. Yuchan looked back at the phone, it could be staged, still just a lie to make him hurt. Yet his heart was racing then he stepped closer to Byeongkwan, who looked up then Yuchan pressed a light kiss to his lips. Part of him expected Byeongkwan to pull away and start laughing. Byeongkwan leaned into the kiss, his hands going to Yuchan’s arms holding him close. They stood their kissing in the park, it was dangerous, they had debuted as idols and they were kissing in public. Yuchan pulled away and mumbled that thought, Byeongkwan nodded and then took Yuchan’s hand to drag him away. They got home, Yuchan’s parents were out and the couple went up to Yuchan’s old room just to keep kissing. No discussion about what their relationship was at that point, they only cared about kissing each other, feeling each other. Loving each other without words, they didn’t need them they only needed to feel each other in that moment. Eventually Yuchan pulled away from him, his eyes searched the face of the man he loved and saw the love reflected back at him.

“I love you” Yuchan mumbled softly and Byeongkwan’s face split into a smile he leaned back in for another kiss. Yuchan smiled and kissed him softly.

“My cutie, beautiful, perfect best friend.” Byeongkwan mumbled kissing all over his face. Yuchan giggled trying to push him away half heartedly. “I am so in love with you. God I wish I hadn’t waited this long to have confessed.”

“You weren’t the only one waiting...I was going to sooner, but then you were all over Sehyoon and I was scared….” Yuchan pressed another light kiss to his lips “And you still kissed him on for New Years, I was waiting for you to kiss me…”

“I’m sorry, I was so drunk that night. I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to hurt you” Byeongkwan stroked his cheek “I was drunk and stupid. I wanted to kiss you, trust me. I was scared and Sehyoon was closer. He was sure to inform me of how stupid I was the next day. I was actually scared Donghun was trying to pull you away from me. That’s why I got mad, in my mind that was my first ever mess up so I didn’t deserve to lose you like that. I guess I was wrong there. I messed up alot. I messed up constantly with you. But I do love you”

“I love you too. It’s okay now...I’m okay as long as it’s real and not a joke…”

“Of course it’s real I will call the others right now and tell them if you want me too”

“No we will see them tomorrow. They will know” Yuchan smiled getting up to lock his door when he heard his mother’s voice “For now I just want you to kiss me” Yuchan smiled and Byeongkwan was more than happy to oblige, pulling Yuchan back onto the bed and kissing him with all the pent up passion of years of being in love with his best friend. Yuchan melted under his lips while pressing himself as close as physically possible to Byeongkwan. How they would do anything after this seemed impossible; they needed each other's lips like they needed air. They didn’t know how long they would last but they didn’t care as long as they had this moment and the next moment, and each other. Everything else could wait for them to finish with their moment. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow my twitter @AngstyBunBun


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